colorgenics quiz #34578964358

taken this color quiz thing a zillion times and every one of them has been right. could be the vague-ness of it all, but still....how do they know?

You are a very sensitive person and you try hard (perhaps a little too hard) to make favourable impressions and to be recognised by your peers. But you have that inherent need to feel appreciated and admired and you are easily hurt if all of your endeavours go by unappreciated or not acknowledged. Stop trying so hard.

All of your dreams and hopes have not materialised and consequently you are unsure of which way to go. This uncertainty has led to considerable stress but you have sufficient 'strength of mind' to overcome this state of affairs although it will take some time.

We are all conditioned by our environment and as such we respond to people's perception of ourselves, but you feel that conditions are not right at this time. You are experiencing certain reservations that are precluding you to develop a particular relationship, business or personal, that is being offered. It is 'make your mind up time' - the decision is all yours, but whatever decision you make, it will be the right one.

There is considerable amount of stress present in your life at this time and this is perhaps due to some considerable mental and physical frustration. There are various physical needs that are necessary for your well-being but whatever the reasons - mostly of your own making - your needs are not being fulfilled. We wonder why? You are under the impression that nobody seems to care for you. This predicament is most uncomfortable and it is because of this that you are experiencing far more stress than you feel you can cope with. You need to find a soul mate - someone who truly understands you and whose standards are as high as your own. As matters stand you would like to break away from the vicious cycle that you find yourself entrapped but this is easier said than done. You refuse to compromise with your opinions and essentially you are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of the necessary decision. You are stubborn but this should be no deterrent experiencing a happy life.

Overwork - be it mental stress or physical strain, you are completely worn out and this depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel disappointed with your obvious lack of energy and powerless to do anything about it. You are angry with yourself and this frustration shows. You are contradictory and argumentative and feel helpless to change the situation at this time. Take a break - even if it is only for a few days - allow yourself to breath, to unwind - you'll feel much better for it. Then trust and let go.

sha-ZAM

haven't updated this in almost 4 months exactly. wow, how time flies when you're having fun, or not having fun. i think it just flies no matter what. things in my life have basically stayed the same, save for a few interesting things that have happened over the late-summer/fall time. those events shall be further elaborated on in the coming paragraphs...

got to go on an AMAZING roadtrip with my sister to 3 wonderful cities (well maybe not detroit) to see my loves RX BANDITS perform 3 nights in a row.

first city was toronto (a place i had never been before) it was definitely an experience. we arrive in town the day of the show at about 4:00pm and check in to our hotel. it was one of the more unique hotels i've ever stayed in, as it was a converted old mansion. charming is a good word to describe it.

we arrived hoping to get a parking space at the hotel ( for a ludicrous 20$ a day) and we got the LAST SPACE...and of course it's raining when we get to town, and the plan of walking around for it while before the show is foiled thanks to the fact that it is THUNDERING. gah gotta love my fear of storms. so after a quick rest we head out into the city. i had planned on taking the subway while in town, but we could not for the life of us find the subway station that was supposed to be right across the street from our hotel. with a time window slowly winding down ( we need to pick up the tickets for the show by 530 or something) we start off on foot. being that it has just rained, and it's the first week of august...it is HUMID as hell, and we have to walk like we have never walked before. we finally make it to Younge & Dundas square...the location of the tickets. after picking them up ( and a huge sigh of relief on my part) we start the process of trying to figure out how we are going to get to the venue. in the square, there is a subway...we go down and discover that we need CANADIAN money to purchase the daypass we need to use all public transportation. back up to the surface we go to look for a bank. one problem. being from the US, none of our bank cards were being accepted at random ATMs. and to get INTO THE ROOM where the normal ATMs are located, you need to swipe your bank card to be granted access. well. ours didn't work for those either. so with only american $$, we start walking. and walking. and walking. until we finally get to the venue (the opera house). the last thing i want to do after walking 3 sweaty miles is stand up for 3 hours at a show. so i found a place to lean, and tried to make the best of the opening bands. which, for the record, i have to say...DREDG IS THE WORST BAND I'VE EVER SEEN LIVE EVER. and i've seen a lot of bad bands. but damn, these guys take the cake. rx were awesome, of course :)

so after the show. which was pretty AMAZING ( all things considered) the only thing left to do is WALK back to the hotel (at 1200am, mind you). having to navigate streets we'd never been on before was a bit of a challenge, and yes we did see a crackhead lady jump out into oncoming traffic. we walked as fast as our tired legs would allow. we walked a total of 6.5 miles around the downtown toronto area that day. needless to say, i slept very well that night. :)

next morning...we depart toronto (after 0 attempts at any actual sight-seeing) and head down the highway toward detroit. while a beautiful drive, this was the most boring stretch of highway i've traveled in a while. being the passenger made it worse, i'd say.

this part of canada has NOTHING. the only excitement was the tunnel from canada to detroit...which i was only excited about for the experience (not for the fact that i was driving up on detroit). i was nervous, too. because who in their right mind wants to drive in a tunnel that is suspended UNDER the water?! we survived, though...and proceeded to the border crossing. our first attempt at using our newly acquired passports. nervous as F for what they might want to see (searching our car, blahblahblah whatever) it was a relief to see that the guy was pretty relaxed. he even joked around with us saying that we looked like the same person, and went so far as to show his co-worker our pictures and say they have never seen anything so similar before. haha kind of funny and unexpected. so once we navigate to the venue ( st. andrew's hall) we decide to take a walk and find some food before the show. as we're walking around, this creep-o of a homeless man comes up to us and we can't avoid talking to him. he goes along with his suave ploy to get money from us, and we have to say that we have no $$ even though we are both carrying purses. thankfully after a few awkward minutes we are able to walk away from him.

eating takes place at the hard rock cafe: detroit, which had decent food...it was just gross that the whole place allowed smoking inside. so that kind of ruined it for me. as for the show that night: there were a lot of "dude-brah's" at this particular show...which is never quite conducive for a good time. the first band, whom i have grown to love, as tall as lions, killed it at this show. as for DREDG... i couldn't and WOULDN'T sit through another terrible set by them, so we went downstairs and sat in this big empty bar. after the terrible-ness ended, we head upstairs for night #2 of RXB-great-ness. there was definitely a LOT more energy from the crowd/band this night, which made me have a better time. being right next to a giant stack of amps, was the only negative to the whole thing. i sure couldn't hear a dang thing after they were done. one great thing about this tour, was the fact that the guys had 3 drum sets set up on the stage. getting everyone involved in a few drum jams during the set was AMAZING.

the new songs are great live. still missing chris sheets energy in the live show...the rest of the guys definitely made up for his absence. it's crazy to think of how much has changed since when i first started going to see the guys live. down 2 members and crazy different music. but still the same energy that makes me such a huge fan. the show is over and we head to the merch table. i realize that one of the members of as tall as lions is actually a customer at MSM. craziness. so i approach him and he says he is from aurora. small world, i tell ya. after the show we head out of town to stay in the suburbs ( ann arbor to be exact). there's no way i would actually stay in this city. haha

staying in ann arbor was nice, the hotel was cheap and would end up being the nicest one we stayed in along the way. got a tshirt the night before which is my fav RXB shirt to date. AWESOME. we had to hit the road early today because the show in chicago started at a crazy-early 530pm. thankfully we were traveling back in time to central time so it was like an hour just came right back to us on the road which was kind of great timing, actually. so on the way into chicago, i was a bit intimidated due to the fact that i had heard how HORRIBLE the traffic is there. man, that was an understatement of the century. i don't know how people could deal with that everyday. it was like nothing i've ever seen before. so after it takes us like an hour to go 5 miles (or something close to that) we get off on our exit...which was pretty much impossible to find until the last minute (it was exit 5F or something weird). we find the place and get a FREE parking space right next to the venue. thank goodness. so after we sit in the car for a while, we head inside and eat at the Bottom Lounge restaurant...GOOD food.

i had a sandwich called "kickass grilled cheese" and it lived up to that. cheese bacon and all kinds of yum stuff. really good vibes in that place. i would love to go back. as for the show: as tall as lions = AWESOME again that night. we went upstairs to the deck on top of the club for the entire dredg set...and i was actually starting to learn some of the songs even though i had only seen them the one time....i could barely hear still and i was singing along making fun of them. fun timez. haha i wish i could remember the lyrics that i actually learned....classic. we head back downstairs for RXB and it was pretty nice. the layout of the stage left something to be desired. huge hanging amps blocking half of the stage, so that if you were on the right or left side you couldn't see the stage in its entirety.

ah well. it was a kickass show, and i had a lot of fun. double yay to the fact that i got to see dave davison (from maps & atlases) in the crowd...and he actually recognized me from the cast spells show a week before! awesome. :) so as we're leaving the show...with a new as tall as lions cd in tow the only disappointment that i have is not getting to see ANY of the rx guys during the entire roadtrip. as much as i appreciate them, i just wanted to let them know personally. so the next time this (hopefully) happens, that will be my priority. but it sure was a fun ride. drove to the hotel (in crappy suburbs, because downtown chicago hotels are uber expensive) and this place was the epitome of crap. the photos online sure as hell did nothing but make it out to be something it definitely WASN'T. the place smelled like the chlorine from a pool ( and there wasn't even a pool there), our door was basically impossible to open/close without losing your shit trying to open/close it. we brewed a pot of coffee in the coffee maker when we got there just to try to make the room smell remotely better. (it didn't help) and sleep came difficult to me that night. it was just gross. in the morning, after taking a shower in a place i would normally not set foot in, we found out the culprit for the nasty smell. carpet cleaning solution. this guy was saturating the entire front lobby carpet with this shit. i was so glad to walk out of those doors, knowing i never had to go back inside.

the ride home that day: we decided to try and sight-see a bit before we got on the highway. got word that along the lakeshore there were some sand dunes and a state park. so we decided to check that out, seeing how much we love the sand dunes in michigan. first of all, let me say that this park cost 10$ just to get inside. and once we were in, i saw one sand dune, and the beach was disgusting. along the shore it was lined with smog-producing smokestacks and just all kinds of industry.

we immediately got back in the car and started the drive home. the only highlight about the ride home was the fact that the entire way was turnpike. expensive turnpike. hahaha (sarcasm!) once we got home, an hour later i left to go see another of my favorite bands, portugal. the man.

such a good week.

about 6 weeks past that time, i take another roadtrip adventure with my sister. this time we are enroute to indianapolis. another city that i have never been. we are going to see reverend peyton's big damn band open up for the legendary ZZTOP. if you can believe that. :D so we head down the day of the show, and get there early enough to rest a bit at the hotel first, and then head downtown for some food/walking around and the show. we eat at this little bar on the peninsula of this weird intersection...and i had the best quesadilla i've ever had. SO GOOD. we head across the street for some starbucks and encounter this man.

he had the craziest head of hair ever. he could have been one of those models for like hair club for men or something like that. next to starbucks, there was this cute little store called "silver in the city" i decided to get something as a sort of a memoir for the trip. it's the cutest little stuffed thing. i don't really know how else to describe it. as for the show. we get seats in row #13 in a theater setting. which is pretty dang good, if you ask me.

rev peyton takes the stage and everyone is shocked. haha i don't think anyone knew what to expect (except the few who know and love the rev) but i was screaming my head off and trying to fight the urge to just stand up in the crowd. after their set, we go out and try to talk to them...i get my photo taken with them, which is the best thing EVER. i love those guys.

as for ZZTOP it's amazing to see such huge rock and roll stars in the flesh, and also to see how rockin' they are for such old guys. hahaha :) it was such a good show, i'm so glad we were able to pull off taking the trip. the next day we had time to just kind of walk around the city, and i must say i REALLY like indy. it's a nice place, with lots to do in the downtown area (something that cleveland leaves to be desired) we start out by walking along the canal front. which is just cool because it's a nice place to take a stroll or bike ride. we stumble upon the Indiana Museum, so we decide to take a look. it was pretty interesting, and worth the time. across town we then walk to this mall area where we find a PF changs, so we eat there. it was good, and of course a trip there is not complete without the great wall of chocolate cake.

mmMm we then head over to this huge monument thing that is in the middle of downtown, walk around there a bit and then head back for the car. this was a fun trip, i want to have more things like this happen that's for sure.

things otherwise have been mediocre. living in creston sure doesn't do much to help such things. my cousin kelly moved back to the area which is so awesome. work is...well, work. there's a lot of drama going on there right now, which i am trying to stay out of as much as possible. that's all i really want to say about that.

as for my attitude as of late...i think i've been feeling pretty good. i am just ready for some things to get changing. i really want to move out of here, but it's not in the cards right now. i just don't have enough money to support myself/pay all the bills i have. that's depressing. i've never owed more money than i do right at this moment. it's really kind of scary to think about that. here's to working on that this next year. as for myself personally, i am really just about over the "single life". haha i never thought i would say that, but i've been single since what, 2004? 2003? HAH i don't even remember it's been that long. i think i just miss having a "partner in crime" or something. i hope that changes sooner rather than later. :)

i think this is a sufficient update.

not that anyone is reading, of course...

hey! you!

do me a favor and listen to these guys.
if you know anything about me, you'd know these guys are
one of my favs, and i'll do anything to support them
& spread the love. well, they have a new record coming out
and i think you should all take a listen to some of their songs.

awesome! <3
& thanks a mil

changes that stay the same

to anyone who cares, this is where i live now.

creston, ohio, united states.

the end of january brought the end to living in any kind of a "city"

even though where i had moved from was pretty remote, it was still close to everything that one would need in day to day life. so needless to say moving back to my hometown was, and still is, quite a shock. i keep struggling with the idea that...ok i'm 25 years old and what am i doing? living in the same house as my grandmother, and sharing a bedroom with my younger sister. who the hell does that, honestly? people keep saying that what i am doing is the right thing, and i can see that point of view....but i also liked that for the past 7+ years i have been able to come and go as i please and not have to worry about "checking in" or whatever. granted my grandmother doesn't really pry too much, but it's just the idea i guess. and of course a huge plus is the fact that i don't have to pay for anything but the internet bill while i am living here. crazy how even though i am not paying rent, i have no money whatsoever. that's another story altogether.

things in my life are otherwise the same old thing, which is mainly unfortunate. haha i don't like to be on the computer as much anymore, so i guess that's a good thing. but on days like today (where i don't work, have no money, and nothing better to do) i still spend most of the day just searching around random things online. one thing i have noticed is that i have hardly any contact with people who i thought were my "friends". none at all. that just kicks me in the face and makes me want to really get serious about planning on leaving. because why the heck do i want to stay here? it's miserable some days.

work has been alright, with the exception of a few people annoying the crap outta me. i drive to work, do my job, and come home. that's it.

some musical things in the future that i am super stoked about:

- new RX BANDITS record/tour/artwork/merch coming summer 2009 [near my birthday !!!]

- an album from frontman dave davison [maps&atlases] in his solo project CAST SPELLS

- concerts coming to town...mewithoutYou, kk & his weathered underground, rxb [presumably], elton john...and others

- a new album from PORTUGAL. THE MAN due out the end of july, entitled "The Satanic Satanist"

- a new album from wickedly awesome NURSES out july 2009 !!

so i guess that's pretty cool.

hopefully i get some stuff done this summer that i actually want to do.

if not, oh well...but it would be nice.

one more thing....

gosh i've been watching a lot of basketball this season. like, a lot.

and all i have to say is go cavs!

the scientist

my dad MADE these :D

he calls them "lid-iya"

i love them <3

holiday time in my life is always interesting.  

and this year is no exception.  

too much to deal with and no way of coping, really.  i found out that my grandpa is getting admitted into a nursing facility.  i can't even find the energy to cry about it anymore.  it's the saddest thing that i've had to deal with in a loooong time.  :(  it makes me not even want to be around anyone, to be honest.  which is probably the opposite thing that i should be doing at this time, but geez i just don't want to deal with the reality of the HUGE change that this is going to bring to our family.  my dad just dropped everything he was doing yesterday and drove 4 hours to be with my grandma [his mom] which i am at least thankful that he did that.  if he wouldn't have realized the importance of being here for family at this terrible time, i would have had to seriously question his judgement.  but i don't have to, which is good.  so today is supposedly the day that my grandpa moves from a hospital room to the nursing facility, and i just don't know if i can go to the place where his mother's health and mind deteriorated to the point where she didn't even recognize who we were.  granted, it's already kind of like that with him, but at least it was in his own home, around the things that he is familiar with.  this is just going to be so hard to go visit him in a room [probably shared with another ailing elderly person] to "visit".  and my grandma.  it's going to kill her.  her "partner in crime"  is essentially gone.  i can't even fathom a loss like that.  at their house they have side by side recliners, and i just keep thinking about her at home sitting in hers, looking over to where he's been sitting next to her for the past forever, and him not being there.  holy crap, how can someone deal with such change.   so my sister and i decide that we're going to have to be the ones there for her, since my dad is hours away and we usually see him 2-3 times a year.  man, i really hope that changes, because life is only so short, and why spend it regretting doing everything that you should have done while you had the chance.  

so now, i am just sitting at the mercy of my family waiting on the news that he's being moved.  in the meantime plans are also to go out for my "justice" side of the family christmas.  i really don't even get along with most of these people anymore, and the few people i do want to see will hopefully make it worthwhile.  i get to open gifts that i've picked out myself, and act surprised.  hah great fun.  i love my grandpa though, he's the greatest.  we get to dine on pizza hut and kfc chicken.  a family tradition for the past forever.  we're so classy.  

i can feel my depression kicking in hardcore.  i have no friends, i hardly hear from any of the ones i would remotely call "acquaintances", i am in the worst shape of my life, and i am sick.   

happy hanukkah or whatever.

thanks "holidays".  love you too.

send my regards to the 

normal people who actually enjoy this time of year.

cold feet

^^my sister's cat lucy^^

awwww i love her

http://twitter.com/rissaxlovesyou

holla

looks just like the sun...

dashboard ornament <3

aww i love this lil guy :)

lounging on my bed listening to broken social scene.  

it's been a lazy beginning to my day thus far 

and i can't say that i mind all that much.

they've been working on the highway behind my house 

so i was woke up early by that, and my lovely sister's cat having a hairball issue.  haha what a weird morning.  

anyways, not too much going on really.  

i got to see my new favorite band [maps & atlases] play back on 9.9.08 

which was fantastic.  hah i spent $40, that i didn't have, on their merch.  

i really hope they come back soon.  i've been enjoying the fall weather, 

and have already had 3 pumpkin spice lattes since they've been back at starbucks.  mmmmMm

work has been overall crap lately since i've been annoyed by several things going on there.  a few of which have since been resolved.  but still.  ugh i wish i knew of a job that i would actually like to go to every day. but usually i don't even know what i like half of the time, so that's a bit of a challenge ;) 

i've let myself go, and stopped any form of trying to better myself.  as a result of this, i am going back into my old ways of being disconnected from everyone around me.  i'm hoping that this recent interest in changing that happens for real.  because this is nothing to fool around with.  especially going into prime depression months ahead.  eeeeep

i have no real consistent thoughts in my head. 

so bulletpoints will suffice for now.

-i need a new job.  &/or a 2nd job.

-i have no money to pay for my car. 

-student loans are kicking my ass

-not using said education is also kicking my ass.  mainly emotionally.

-i need to figure out my personality flaws and address some of them.

-this presidential election is scaring me.  no jokes

-i need to get out of my bed.  it's 230pm for goodness sakes.

park that car

drop that phone

sleep on the floor

dream about me

o rly?

$48,467. 47

so today i was bored.  har har har

and i decided to make myself even more depressed, apparently.

i added up everything [i mean EVERYthing] that i owe

...and now i want to cry.  damn it, college education.

dangit.

my camera broke.

:(

wordle

this is so cool.

there is a website you can go to 

and they put all of your last.fm top artists into a cool looking collage.

pretty sweet.

i wish i could put this on a shirt.

this past weekend i went to see my dad and surprise my little sis [who had no idea we were even coming to visit]  haha i always like to surprise people.  it's fun.  anyways we went back-to-school shopping with her, which we got a lot of pretty awesome deals, so i was happy.  on saturday we traveled back to cincinnati to go to the zoo.  i'd never been to this zoo so i was excited, and hopeful that it was better than cleveland.  well, it definitely was a perfect day to go to the zoo.  i had a lot of fun, i just wished we had more time to see everything.  ahwell.

that's about all i have for now.  

my dang camera broke on the trip so i am mad about that for sure. 

oh and i got to go to sonic for the first time.  yum :D

omg no wayy

and there is the proof.  this week has been awesome.

...ok so it's not like i'm a super super freak when it comes to being fan of bands, but this week has been pretty freaking sweet.  i'll elaborate.  first, the acoustic set that rxb did while in CLEVELAND on august 5th finally came out and i already can't stop listening to it in my car.  it's insanely wonderful and i love it.  also, i had sent photos from the concert to each of the respective bands myspace accounts.  i wasn't really expecting an answer or anything of the sort.  just kind of hoping someone would look at it and appreciate my efforts.  WELL.  i was more than thrilled on saturday morning when i woke up and saw that RXBANDITS posted my photos, with a thank you, onto their myspace bulletin.  :D :D  needless to say i was thrilled.  how nice of them to share my measly photos with everyone.  haha it was pretty sweet of them.  so today i get a message from PORTUGAL. THE MAN saying that they appreciated my photos as well. 

wow.  

the very best.

this week i got to see my favourite band, rx bandits, 

at my favourite venue in cleveland. the grog shop.

it was the best thing ever.  i got to stand in the front row this time, so i was able to get a lot more pictures than i usually do.  hooray.  they put on an amazing set [i also got one of the copies of the setlist!]  and even performed a new song from their upcoming cd.  ahh it makes me hope that they release the new material as soon as possible.  i know they haven't recorded it yet, but hopefully they do as soon as they get home :D

they even ended the set with the best song. decrescendo.  

ahh there is not a better song to end it with, in my opinion.

and! i also got my photo taken with joe troy.  it was his bday the night prior so it was great to be able to say hi and get a photo [the first i've ever had] with a member of the band.

also playing that night was portugal. the man

and maps & atlases.

both of which are also AMAZING.

oh, how i love live music.

x

mew sic

#1 favorite band tomorrow

#2 favorite band yesterday

grog shop, cleveland heights, OH

awesome. :D

hawt

ugh i hate summer.  i like the sunshine, but that's about as far as it goes.  it's so hot that i feel like i can't do anything because i'm so uncomfortable.  i can't wait until the weather starts to cool off again, i'm sure i'll be riding my bike more then.  exciting. 

my birthday ended up alright, nothing too huge but people actually remembered this year.  and i got a lot of "happy birthday"'s from people that i was around.  so that's nice.  i didn't get anything much for presents, but what i did was nice :]

other than that, not much is going on as of late.  

next week, however, will be AMAZING!

MATES OF STATE at the grog shop on sunday night 

and then RX BANDITS on tuesday night.  

omg my 2 favourite bands at the same place in the span of 3 days.

awesome :D

anyways, i'm hot so i think i'm going to go on a drive [haha like i can afford that]at least my car has air conditioning.  because my house sure doesn't.

two-five

bah i really do hate my birthday.

i don't know why i've felt this way, but for the past like 6-7 years it just seems like it makes me more depressed than anything.  hopefully today is not like that, but i mean i am working, and that's probably about all.  we'll see.  that's really all i have right now.   

uno

i'm looking down on the river at the bottom of niagara falls, 

the water looks sooo cool with the amount of oxygen in it.  

it was amazing how many flowers there were...

it was so beautiful!

today i sold my old car!  so now i'm just down to the one.  haha no more multi-car discount on my car insurance...i'm so glad because i was starting to wonder if it would actually happen.  she paid me in 1500$ cash.  haha i'm high rolling right now :P  

i think that i'll miss my old car, she was good to me while i had her.  things change, and usually i don't like that.  but i think this time it's definitely a good thing in the long run. 

anyway, i have 2 days off in a row.  i don't know what i'm going to do with myself.  it's crazy because that's how my schedule is going to be until i get a new job, since i am taking more days off at mustard seed.  

on a pseudo related note: i absolutely hate the sound of lawn mowers.  if i would still be sleeping right now i'd be really mad.  they are just so loud and obnoxious.  just as bad as vacuum cleaners.  why can't they make things a little quieter?  haha just complaining about nothing.   

i think i'm going to start posting a different photo i've taken with each entry...yeah, sounds nice.

ahhhhhhh only 12 more days until i get to see my favourite guys! :D :D

oh, life

so the idea for this is kind of like a new start for me to put random thoughts and all that jazz onto internet "paper".  i've not had a lot of luck in keeping any kind of a coherent sort of thing like this in the past so we'll see how it goes.  

my life as of late has been pretty stressful.  my car broke down one morning when i was going to leave for work, and that's what started it all.  i had to miss work that morning, which i feel terrible about that happening because it inconvenienced everyone i like at my job.  so that day i get my car to a repair shop that i've never been to, and my mom takes me back home where we wait...all day...to hear about the repairs needed to make my car work again.  they call eventually and it's going to cost me over 1000$ in the cheapest of scenarios. [serpentine belt, a/c, water pump, starter replacement] ohhhhh great.  so with that, i'm sitting here with no running car, and a need to drive 70+ miles roundtrip to my job everyday.  it ends up we don't go with the repair guy and my family tow my car [illegally, mind you] to their house to work on it.  that is going to take a while because everyone has jobs of their own.

so because i still have to work everyday, i have to get a rental car for what i thought was to be 4 days.  go to the place and they give me a super cute nissan sentra.  i drive this to the death cab for cutie concert in cleveland [where i am super scared it is going to get run into or stolen altogether.  everything with that went ok, and i started my search for a new car.  i can't stand the idea of driving my old car everyday while i am scared to death that it's not even going to start.   this is taking forever because i can't find anything that i want that is in my [really low for what i want] price range.  i went to this one dealer that was trying to sell cars that they hadn't even worked on yet...it was insane.  scary, really.  sooo it ended up that through the "grapevine" i see this car that is at a dealership that one of my mom's friends mother works at.  [haha i know try and figure that one out!] this car [2006 chevy cobalt 2dr silver 25k miles] is everything that i had wanted, except that the price was a bit too high.  when we go to test drive the vehicle, i end up liking it alright and actually talked them down in price 500 dollars! haha  i also get a great deal from my bank on the interest rate, so that's went pretty well.  

the downside is, that my old car still wasn't running so i couldn't trade it in.  so there i was, with 2 vehicles.  whereas the week before i didn't even have one.  my uncle mike ends up fixing my old car for around 250$, so i decided to start trying to sell it myself.  i get a call a few days later saying that my uncle knew someone interested in my car and that i should call her.  i call and she seems eager to come see the car, and all that jazz.  she comes to look at it and says that she's interested, so i tell her to give me a call in a few days so we can take care of everything else that goes along with selling a car.  WELL.  she's still not called me back and it's been a week.  i've left her a message saying that essentially "i'm ready whenever you are" to get this taken care of.  as of right now, she's still not called me back. great, just great.

in the middle of all of this, i got to go on VACATION.  ahh the idea of it, even now, is still so refreshing.  my family and i went to canada for a week, and it was so nice.  we stayed in a town called bobcaygeon, ON.  it's a small little fishing town that has more lakes than land, i'd say.  not being much of a fisherman, or a fan of boats in general, i made the most of the trip.  taking my newly purchased bicycle, i would ride up to town and watch the sunset over the water on most of the nights that we were there.  a few times it stormed, or looked like it might so i didn't get to make it.  while we were there i saw some beautiful sunsets, and one morning my sister and i got up at 5am to try to find a nice location to watch the sunrise.  we were driving along this one road and there was a clearing that would be a PERFECT place to watch and take photos.  one problem, it's on a private property yacht club.  hahahah well because it was really early in the AM we take our chances and park the car and walk to the shore.  the area was so nice, and there were actually huge rock steps going down to the edge of the water.  beautiful!  so we took our photos and got the heck out of there.  :]  the rest of the week was pretty relaxing.  i watched the entire season 1 of THE RICHES on dvd during the rainy bits of the week, i found a new appreciation for american weather forecasters, and played the best SCRABBLE game of my life.  canadian people are so nice.  i think i'll be making a trip back there for sure.  oh, and we also stopped in niagara falls on the way home.  i am officially going to write a book called "how to do the falls in 45 minutes" haha because that's what we did.  it was very rushed, but i still love going there.  it's so intense to see such a huge marvel of nature.  i'm definitely going to go back soon to do like a 2 day tour of niagara.  and maybe even ride the maid of the mist.  i don't know, though....that boat looks soooo scary.

anyways, fast forward a few weeks to now.  basically, i can't afford to pay all of my bills.  so because of this i ask my employer [aka lame boss] if i can rearrange my schedule so that i can look for a 2nd job.  he is honestly the biggest idoit i've ever seen, because he can't even let me work four 10 hour shifts to make the SAME AMOUNT of money that i am making right now.  he basically doesn't understand how it is to not have the "wiggle room" to lose even 20$ a week on my paycheck. hello, idiot... that is my car insurance payment for a month.  is he going to pay it for me? hahah no, i didn't think so.  so i've been super stressed about this because he is now scheduling me 4 days a week.  and only 34ish hours.  GAH.  so the past few days i've been in constant debate in my head about whether or not i should go and really try to get an accounting job.  even if i hate it, at least i'll be able to make my bills and [!!!!] maybe a bit more than that.  haha what is that even like?  i wouldn't know.  

so that is where i am at right now.  there's a bit less than a week until my 25th birthday.  it feels like a gigantic waste, because i do not have anything of substance to show for my 25 years on this planet.  yeah, i have a college degree... so what? am i using it? NO.  do i even want to?  not really.  hello, yeah i'm a loser.  i have no one in my life that i can truly call a friend.  [you know the one you could call at 3AM if you had a terrible thing come up and you just NEEDED someone] yeah, i don't have that.  and i don't understand why i don't. it makes me want to cry a little when i am typing this, too.  but enough complaining, it doesn't get me anywhere doing that.  

i need to start thinking positive and hopefully turn this life around before the next 25 years goes by and i am still just sitting here idle, wasting time.   

testing

 1 2 3